Articles - ❤️🧡💛Six ideas on what to say to a terminally ill person.
22nd March 2021

❤️🧡💛Six ideas on what to say to a terminally ill person.

If a friend or loved one is terminally ill, it's understandable that you might be at a loss for words. You may even be hesitant or embarrassed to talk to them or spend time together for fear of doing or saying the wrong thing during an already difficult time. Each person is unique and may react differently to certain conversations, but hopefully this article offers a few helpful ideas on what to say when someone is terminally ill.

What to say to someone who is terminally ill

There are no perfect words at times like these, but by being there for your friend or loved one and making an effort to talk to them, your good intentions will stand out. These six ideas can help you start a meaningful conversation.

1. "How are you feeling today?"

This simple question gives your friend or loved one the opportunity to share as much or as little about their terminal illness as they'd like. Ignoring their illness because you are uncomfortable or worried about making them feel uncomfortable can actually invalidate their feelings and do harm.

By asking how they feel, you are acknowledging the illness while allowing them to have a conversation about it. This is a wonderful question that can lead to many other conversations.

2. "Do you need anything?"

This question emphasizes your willingness to help and shows that you are interested in their needs. Maybe they are craving a nice cup of aromatic coffee, a warm blanket, or a friend to watch their favorite movie with. Or maybe all they really want is a big hug or a shoulder to cry on. This open request gives you an avenue to fulfill any number of important requests from them.

3. "I'm here for you."

Offering your time and listening skills is sometimes all it takes to lift someone's spirits. This phrase is a good option instead of saying "You'll get through this" or "Everything happens for a reason." These phrases can invalidate their emotions and struggles.

4. "I was thinking about you."

Telling your friend or loved one that you've been thinking about them is a wonderful and easy way to show you care. This phrase can also help you share a favorite memory of that person.

If you reach out via message, email, or voicemail, it's important to let them know they don't need to respond if they're not ready. Often, people facing serious illness are inundated with messages and calls from people who are thinking of them, and the obligation to respond to each person can be overwhelming or emotionally draining.

5. "I love you" or "You mean so much to me."

When trying to figure out what to say to a terminally ill friend or loved one, it is often most meaningful to simply express your feelings for them. In fact, in the book, The Four Things That Mean the Most, author and doctor Ira Baock found through extensive research that these four phrases have tremendous meaning for terminally ill patients:

- I love you
- Thank you
- I forgive you
- Forgive me

When it's unclear how much time they have left, it's crucial to tell your loved one how you feel.

6. "I'm not sure what to say."

You won't always know what to say to a terminally ill friend or loved one, and that's okay. If you tell them you're at a loss for words, you offer a healthy dose of authenticity. It can also show that you may be struggling to navigate your own feelings of grief and pain-without overreacting and overburdening them.

When silence is preferred, you can convey your feelings through physical touch, such as placing your hand on them, hugging them, or tapping them on the shoulder. These small gestures are a powerful way to show your care.

Beyond words: how to help someone who is terminally ill

Spending time together and showing your loved one you care through acts of service can sometimes be more important than the words you choose to say. If you need tips on how to help a sick friend or loved one, try lending a hand with one of the four ideas below.

1. Care for their children or pets

Offering to babysit, pick up their kids from school or take their dog for a walk is a service that can mean a lot to someone who isn't feeling their best - and doing one of these things isn't a big commitment.

2. Taking them to the doctor when they have an appointment

For many, learning how to cope with a terminal illness means coming to terms with a new reality. Getting from point A to point B is one of many simple tasks that can become difficult when they are very unwell. By offering to drive your friend or family member to a doctor's appointment, you are lifting the burden while providing emotional support.

3. Deliver a hot meal

No one likes to cook when they don't feel well. Since almost everyone values food, dropping the commitment to cook is something you can do even if your friend or loved one hasn't asked for it. If you're not the cook type, try giving them a gift card to a restaurant or arrange a rotating dinner schedule between friends.

4. Start an online charity fundraising campaign (crowdfunding)

For millions of people, crowdfunding or charity fundraising has become an important way to raise money during a challenging time we face. Online fundraising provides a central place for friends and family to come together and offer financial and emotional support. Whether you are seeking financial assistance for palliative care, expensive medical procedures or medical bills, online fundraising can provide financial relief and allow your friend or family member to focus on what is important during this difficult time.

Check out our articles related to crowdfunding:

Organize a charity campaign easily on PavelAndreev.ORG.

And in our help center you can see What are the conditions for starting a campaign?

Get in touch and make a difference today

If you want to do more, you can make a real difference by easing the financial problems of someone who is terminally ill. Through PavelAndreev.ORG you can start raising money within minutes of contacting me and talking about your campaign and how to make it as effective as possible.

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