Raising a child by a single parent is a real challenge. The danger of a single parent facing financial difficulties is huge. You can help one in many ways, but frankly one of the best options is to organise a charity fundraising campaign. Of course, in such a situation, you have to tread delicately so as not to affect the honour and self-esteem of the single parent who, even if he is experiencing financial difficulties, can refuse any help as he will not allow himself to be pitied by others.
The first thing to remember is that taking care of a child depends directly on our physical, emotional and mental state. A parent should not only take care of his children but also himself so that they are well. It is pertinent to note here that in most cases the single parent is the mother who takes over the care of the child after separation/divorce, for example. So let's define what the term "single mother" means, and then we'll continue with advice appropriate for any single parent raising their child.
Perceptions of exactly how the term 'single mother' is perceived are quite subjective, but the law provides a precise definition of the categories of mothers who can be recognised as such. A mother falls under the heading of 'single' if she is widowed, divorced or unmarried and is raising a child up to the age of 18 or an adult student up to the age of 20 on her own until she completes her secondary or vocational education. However, if the current address of both parents is the same, even if they are not married, the law treats these people as a family.
Accept when relatives and friends give you help. There is no need to do everything yourself. Allow people who are willing to do the shopping for you, watch your child on a Friday night, walk him or pick him up from school. You probably have friends who genuinely love children and will be happy for you to let them spend time with your child.
Look for other single parents. It would be easiest for them to put themselves in your situation so you can share your duties with them. This way you will be saving time and energy. There are plenty of dads and moms around who are raising their kids alone - it would be good for them and for you to help out!
Don't stop your child from staying overnight with your relatives or his friends. That way, he'll be happy and you'll get a free evening for privacy and rest.
Set clear rules about when and how your child will see their other parent. It is always good for your child to communicate with both parents. Of course, without violence, setting against the other parent or aggression involved in the relationship.
You may notice that after meeting the other parent, your child acts cooler. This is because he or she is confused by the situation. In such situations, calm him down and play to distract him. Talk to him and encourage him to tell you about his fears and doubts.
Do not give in to guilt. Be confident that it is better for each child to live with only one parent, but not in a home where understanding and love are lacking. Don't shut yourself away, share with other adults what is on your heart.
Make a clear schedule for the child's day. Caring for and organizing everything will be far easier and less stressful if you have a designated time or day of the week for everything.
Don't worry about setting boundaries. Children don't need to decide this for themselves. On the contrary, a child's psyche needs to establish the boundaries of the world it lives in. It needs to be aware of what is right and wrong. Children are best educated by love, example, discipline and explanation.
Pay attention to yourself too. Eat well, get enough sleep and keep physically active. Try to stay positive. Make sure you have some time to yourself.
Single parents tend to develop dependence on the child and excessive attachment. This can, in the long run, lead to difficulties for the child to become an adult and, when he or she grows up, to take his or her own path.
You may feel like a terrible parent because you will always have to bring discipline and insist that the child fulfill his or her obligations. The other parent will sometimes spend time with the child, but it will be mainly for pleasure.
Try to have a budget and teach your child that you are a team and must fit in. But still, sometimes unexpected expenses are unavoidable. Also, one person's income cannot compare to the income of two... When a single parent is facing financial difficulties, they can seek help through the Pavel Andreev Foundation. If you or someone you know is in this situation - feel free to set up a fundraising campaign. A child is only young once and deserves a peaceful and secure childhood. Sometimes fundraising with a charity campaign is the only way to make this happen. Create your cause on our donation site PavelAndreev.ORG. Tell your story honestly and in detail and have no doubt that you will find good people who will step in and support you.
Besides financial or material help, there are many other ways you can help any single parent. We have already mentioned some of these, but if, for example, the lone parent is someone you know or are close to, you can help them to find an extra job or source of income to improve their quality of life. In addition, you can take away some of his childcare responsibilities by taking over the care of the children for a few hours or days during which he can take time for himself. This is also a great help, as often single parents are unable to keep up with all their responsibilities, and what is left to "steal" some time for themselves.
In our help centre you can see What are the conditions for starting a campaign?
Start a campaign now on PavelAndreev.ORG.
To be honest, a single parent faces many other problems that may not be related to financial or material shortcomings. For example, because of all the work and home responsibilities, there may be a lack of personal time. If your child is insecure, jealous or suspicious, it can be very difficult to build a romantic relationship.
Children undeniably need role models - representatives of both sexes. So it is certainly a very good idea to find someone in your entourage (most often a relative) to take on the role of educator for your child of the opposite sex.
If you manage to build a promising romantic relationship, it would be good to have your partner enter the child's life. Of course, it is best to take this slowly, and you should prepare the ground beforehand and tell your child about your partner's positive aspects.
Don't expect an instant friendship between your partner and your child. This often happens in romantic movies, but not in real life.
If necessary, make it clear to your child that your partner is not trying to replace the other parent.
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